Last Embryo. Last Chance.

Motherhood isn't easy for me. 

I don't mean the all day morning sickness, the colicky baby stage, or the toddler tantrums...although those were freaking brutal. 

The hardest part of motherhood for me was waiting for it to begin. The actual getting pregnant part. 

For a lot of people, getting pregnant is easy...wham, bam, thank you ma'am...you know what I mean?! 

For many, including myself, trying to have a baby isn't easy. Nope. Getting pregnant is a real B! 

For two and a half years, we tried and failed at creating a family the good ol' fashioned way. Each month was more devastating than the last. This was the hard part. Not the drugs, shots, or bedrest...the waiting. The disappointment. The heartbreak. 

We've been through it all already...the harvesting, retrieval, hyperstimulation, freezing, embryo transfer, wait.

This year we will be trying for our last baby. 

This time around is a bit different. It's our last embryo. Our last chance at having another baby. And truth be told, I am as scared as I have ever been.

There are pros & cons to being "open" with our journey. I would say without a doubt that the pros definitely outweigh the cons. When I opened up about our struggles, we received an unbelievable amount of support, love, and so many prayers. It was incredible. The cons are opening yourself up for judgement, the occasional insensitive comment, and the fear of the unknown. 

These next few weeks will consist of paps, blood work, doctor visits, ultrasounds, and if all looks good...drugs and an embryo transfer next month. 

This is not easy to share (a little scary and very emotional)...and I'm sure these posts aren't always easy to read (TMI, against your beliefs, too sad) but it's part of our journey. 

Sharing my story has helped me heal and hopefully helps someone else who may stumble upon this post. If by being open I can give hope to at least one person struggling then this is totally worth it. 

As we anxiously start this process, I would very much love and appreciate prayers, good vibes, and positivity. 🖤 

As always...thank you for reading my posts and caring about our journey. This little space on the internet has become a second home. It's my safe place...and for that I am forever thankful.