A Letter to My Son on the Night Before Preschool

To my baby boy on the night before preschool...

Drew,

Tomorrow you start your first day at school. This is a big day.  

Long before we knew you, we loved you and imagined all the amazing things you would do and the incredible person you would become. You, my sweet baby, have exceeded every hope and dream we had for you. 

When I held you in my arms for the very first time, I remember holding  you so gently, protectively, and with all the love I had. Tomorrow, I'll be doing almost the exact same thing for your first day at school. I'll hold your hand...so gently, protectively, and lovingly...as we embrace the next adventure in your little life. 

Tonight I read you a stack of books to get you ready for your 1st day...they were just as much for me as they were for you. 

Tonight is bittersweet. You are growing up so fast, too fast. I wish I could make time stand still and soak up all your silliness, giggles, snuggles, and kisses! 

Sometimes, I wish I could keep you little but I love watching you grow into the most inquisitive, hilarious, and loving little boy. You are so brave and adventurous. I love your fascination with dinosaurs, your forever love of Lightening McQueen, and your contagious laugh. You are going to be great tomorrow...you'll make new friends, you'll learn new songs, and you are going to have so much fun. I can't wait to hear about all the fun things you do and about all the exciting things you learn. 

This is one of those moments you might not remember...but I will. I absolutely will and I will treasure this first because I love you and you are so very special to me. 

Love you always and forever,

Momma

Bringing Home Our Baby Bumble Bea

It's hard to believe our Sweet Bea is almost ONE!!

In honor of her upcoming birthday I decided to share the story of her birth. 

This is one of my favorite love stories, Sweet Bea. 

It's the story of you.

Like any good story, we have to start at the beginning.

Our sweet Bea wasn't always so sweet. In fact, she was a bit of a hellion! 

Just like her big brother, Bea is an IVF baby. A frozen embryo transfer. Just like with Drew, I gave myself a million shots, prayed my heart out, transferred two beautiful and healthy embryos, and stayed in bed for 5 days. We were pregnant. We were thrilled.

Unlike most people, I love morning sickness. It is a sign that everything is good...a reassurance that there is a growing little miracle in my belly. Little Bea took it to a whole new level! I was sick the ENTIRE time. Not just nauseous or tired but the kind of sick you have when you wake up after a night of tequila shots sick. Holy moly. I remember thinking, "Ok. My little busy Bea. Thank you for checking in but I need a break!"

Then this little rebel decided she wanted out and she wanted out NOW! 

Mind you, she wanted to make her debut at 32 weeks....oh yes, 32 frickin' weeks! Stinker. 

I had just had my sprinkle and was feeling extra tired, crampy, and HEAVY. I figured it was a 2nd baby thing so although I was uncomfortable I definitely wasn't concerned. We'd gone in for our 32 week appointment and casually mentioned how much harder this pregnancy was and my symptoms....well, it wasn't normal and after 30 minutes of monitoring, I was sent to Hoag Hospital for 48 hour observation and medication to slow contractions and meds to help baby's lungs form if she were to come early. Then sent home on strict bed rest and weekly monitoring. 

My job was to keep this baby cooking and my husband made sure I did just that! Andrew picked up all the slack and some...cooking, cleaning, laundry, and Drew! He may drive me crazy but I am pretty darn lucky to have this guy to do life with. 

Not only was my husband amazing, the grandmas took their roles to a whole new level of awesome! My mom and my mother in law helped with organizing everything from my sprinkle, washing baby clothes, and packing my hospital bag. My mother in law and sister in law took Drew more days than I can even count. Our family and friends visited, brought endless amounts of food, and entertained Drew. Thank God for the support system we have....I honestly don't know what I'd do without them. 

I'd been home two weeks on bedrest when my momma tribe had come to keep me company and bring Thai food (all I craved my third trimester)! I was so thankful for the company, yummy food, and some of the sweetest friends! My gf, Jenn/my built in doctor (she really should start charging me for every random picture and question I throw at her), started noticing the regularity and strength of my contractions despite being on medication...she STRONGLY encouraged me to go in the next day.

Sure enough, at 34 weeks, I was dilated to 2, 60% effaced, and my contractions were 7 minutes apart. The meds had stopped doing their thing...which meant back to Hoag. 

As nervous as I was, I also had a feeling that everything would be ok and truth be told, I hadn't expected this to be easy. Nothing had come easy up to this point so I kind of assumed it would be a doosey.

I was admitted, put on the monitor and meds were upped to at least buy us a little more time. During our ultrasound, we found out that our little sassy girl had flipped. Yes, flipped! Miss. Bea had been ready, head down, ready to go. Then...she wasn't. 

An external version was done and successful! Baby was ready. I was taken off meds. And I was stuck....I couldn't walk to progress my labor and the hospital could not assist or encourage my labor because I was early. It was a tough situation.

After a week in the hospital with not much more happening, we were allowed to go home! I was off meds and off bed rest.

I basically showered, unpacked, repacked, and by the next morning my contractions had picked up and I was in full blown labor...back to the hospital we flew. Andrew didn't want to deliver in the car and I was pissed he was driving like a maniac. #MarriedLife

What would you know....little stinker had flipped again. My amazing OB decided we were done messing around. I got my epidural, went into the operating room (in case things got ugly), she flipped our stinker, broke my water, and strapped me tight so Bea couldn't flip again. It was time to have a baby and this momma was totally ready!

After 3 pushes, Bea was born. As I snuggled this tiny bundle and looked at this sweet baby, all I felt was peace. Bea was absolutely beautiful. She was totally perfect. She was so worth of second of this journey and all the trouble. She was ours and I fell deeply in love all over again.

Beatrice Anne
September 5, 2016
6 lbs. 12 oz. and 20 in. long

Bea is our little sunshine! She is so full of life, happiness, and joy. We are beyond smitten with this little love.

It has been everything to watch Drew and Amina as a big brother and a big sister. Drew was made to be a big brother. He is so loving, gentle, thoughtful, and sweet. The minute he saw Bea, it was love at first sight. I always knew he'd be an amazing big brother, I just didn't know he'd be this amazing. Our Amina is so sweet and silly. She loves kissing her sister and I think her favorite thing is making her laugh. 

And Andrew....this man continues to impress me and surpass every hope I had for him as a dada...he is always patient, slow to anger, and definitely the fun parent. Our babies love him and I love watching him with them.

As our first year together comes to an end, I am a teensy bit sad that it went by so fast but I have loved every second with you, my sweet babe. You are a dream come true. You are a prayer answered. You are forever loved. 

Photography: Riley Cooper Photography

Hello, Again.

Hello, again. 

To say I have fallen off the face of the earth would be a ginormous understatement!

It’s been a little over two years since I have posted on my blog…lately I've had an itch to start writing again and truly document our adventures. Life moves so fast and I love being able to look back and relive our journey through these posts. After talking to a few people, I decided it's time to pick up the ol' pen and get back to it. 

So...a quick update if you will.

When I started this blog back in 2014, I was newly pregnant with Drew after struggling with infertility for 2 1/2 years and just beginning to chronicle my pregnancy when God stepped in and gave us our foster daughter, Amina  During that time, I shared my joys, excitement about motherhood, a new found love for my husband as a daddy, and my heartbreak when we lost custody of our Amina. I shared my journey as a new momma and the heartache of not having one of my babies with me all the time. It was one of the most beautiful and challenging times of my life. 

Erin Tukua Photography

Over the past two years, our lives have changed in the most beautiful, challenging, exhausting, hilarious, and amazing ways. It's incredible to think back to where we started and remember the struggles we faced and the hurdles we jumped to start a family. 

I've been fortunate enough to stay home, enjoy motherhood, navigate our new normal, and add to our family. Our littlest love, Beatrice Anne (Bea), is a ray of sunshine and brings so much love, happiness, and silliness to our home. We are totally smitten with this little girl. Amina and Drew were born to be Bigs. They are so loving, nurturing, and gentle with "their" baby. I have never felt so proud or so in love. These 3 miracle babies have my whole heart. 

Riley Cooper Photography

Today, I am determined to share my story. The good. The bad. The ugly. And everything in between. 

It isn't always pretty. It's isn't always sunshine and rainbows, but....it's mine and I'm pretty dang lucky. 

Happy 1st Birthday Peanut Butter Cup!

Exactly one year ago today, a loving mom gave birth to a beautiful angel. This little angel was taken to my husbands fire station at 28 days old...and our lives have never been the same.

I have always dreamed of adopting and knew I'd love our adopted baby. I just never realized how much I could possibly love until my beautiful Amina. People have often asked (in a very innocent way) if the  love you have for your foster baby is different than your biological baby. Honestly, I love Amina as if she were my own. Before getting married, I did wonder if it was possible to love someone else's child as much as your own but I now know without a doubt you can and do. The moment Amina was placed in my arms at the Social Workers office was one of the happiest moments of my life. The love I felt and the feeling I had was the exact same feeling and love that overwhelmed me when I held Drew for the first time. My heart and soul knew them and they were mine to love, cherish, & nurture.

We were blessed to foster Amina for 4 months and beyond thankful that Amina's family allowed us to remain in her life. I couldn't possibly imagine my life without her in it. Amina is our little sunshine! She came into our home and touched our hearts, changing us for the better. She has brought so much love to our family. So today, we celebrate the gift of Amina Sharay!!!

Little Amina is a crack up. She has the most mellow personality with a sassy flair! She is the biggest love bug! Amina loves being held and cuddled. She gives the best hugs and will give kisses for days...especially to her brother, Drew! And he can't get enough of her (or her hair...naughty boy)! Our little miss is the best big sister ever. And man oh man does she love her puppy sister and puppy kisses! Lol. She has the raspiest bluesy voice I have ever heard and love the sound of her giggles. She doesn't laugh easily which makes it so much sweeter when you earn that scratchy giggle! I could listen to her laugh all day.

Amina is a connoisseur of music and enjoys everything from Aretha Franklin to Toby Keith! Yup...it's true! But her all time favorite song is one her cousins made up,"Go 'Mina!" She loves to dance. Start singing "Go 'Mina" and she moves to the beat! Our little tiny dancer. It's pretty darn cute. Amina likes to make us laugh...especially by blowing raspberries! She rolls, crawls, stands, and is getting into everything! Little sassy pants. She has a rascal side that comes out every now and then...like when she snatches toys from her brother and cousins. lol. Or when she pretends she's going to touch my face then snatches my glasses. You can't help but laugh. She is getting so big and becoming her own little person with a BIG personality.

Amina, you were just an itty bitty and in the blink of an eye, you are 1! How did that happen?! I have loved every second of watching you grow and change. You make us so happy and proud. As much as I'd love to keep you little, I can't wait to see what you do next! You truly are our sunshine. Happy 1st Birthday my beautiful peanut.

All photos are from Amina's first birthday party, courtesy of Kristen Saldana Photography. Birthday Party Post and details coming soon...

Happy Half Birthday My Sweet Boy

Today my sweet little Drew turns 6 months old! Wow. I cannot believe how fast these past 6 months have flown by. I literally blinked and it's been half of a year. It makes me so incredibly sad but at the same time...so very happy and thankful for all the love, laughter, and straight up craziness this baby boy has brought to our little family.

Being Drew's momma is truly an adventure. He is a wild one! Never a dull moment in the Vidovich household now that Mr. Drew is here. He is all boy. Drew is a mover and a groover. There is no down time with this little guy. He is hilarious, loving, snuggly, feisty, and most of the time the happiest baby boy.

Over the past month, Drew began sleeping in his crib in his OWN room (mom cried her eyes out for the first two nights), started eating solids (see homemade baby food post here), became an expert roller (front to back & back to front), an awesome pivoter, and has started scooting! Mind you, the scoot is a bit of a face hop...his feet move like crazy but his arms tend to get stuck making him look like a cartoon character scootin face first. Lol. He has started shaking his head whenever we say, "No, no, no, no, no." And he loves singing Old McDonald.

Drew is a total love bug. He loves his sisters, Amina & Coobie! Amina is the sweetest sister and gives her brother loads of kisses which cracks him up and he loves her toes as much as his own. LOL. So weird. He also loves his pup and literally can't wait to chase Coobie Daisy around the house! He has started diving for Coobie girl! Boys. Coobs has no clue what she's in for! Our little man adores his daddy and loves playing rough with that guy. It's so cute hearing him squeal as his Daddy tickles him! And my favorite...he loves his momma. There is nothing sweeter than cuddling and kissing my baby boy. He thinks his momma is hilarious and the BEST singer. I fall more in love with him every single day.

Baby boy, I love you more than you will ever know. I am the luckiest momma in the world. Happy 1/2 Birthday Pumpkin.

Rice Cereal, Sweet Potatoes, & Avocado...Oh my!

About a week before Drew turned 5 months old, I freaked, "Oh no...time to start solids and I have no clue what I am doing!" I remember thinking I had plenty of time to figure out whether I'd make my own or buy baby food...where the heck did that time go?! I swear there were months left to decide! Welp...with a week to figure it out, I did what any mom would do...I googled it!

I began reading mom blogs, articles, and asking my mom friends. After a couple of nights of staying up way too late, reading every chance I got (which was usually while I was nursing, on the toilet, or in bed when I should have been sleeping) and obsessing about what I'd do, I came across a post that didn't preach about the health benefits but rather pointed out the financial benefit of making your own baby food (see post here) and it sold me. Not that I don't care about the health benefits of homemade baby food, I just honestly figured there are organic store bought options! I never realized how expensive store bought organic baby food is. So I began my mission...HOMEMADE ORGANIC BABY FOOD MOMMA!

After much research, I purchased a Baby Brezza and Sage Spoonfuls Glass Jars. Best investment ever! I was definitely very excited about making Drew's baby food but truth be told, I worried it'd be a hassle and I'd end up quitting.

The Baby Brezza made it soooooo easy. Seriously. The Brezza not only steams the veggies/fruits but puree's them so in 15 minutes, I have homemade organic baby food.

My schedule for the first 20 days:
Days 1-4: Earth's Best Organic Oatmeal Cereal (mixed 1oz breast milk with 2tbs of cereal)
Days 5-8: Organic Sweet Potato (2 Medium sized Sweet Potatos + 3oz of breast milk)
Days 9-12: Organic Avocado (2 Avocados + 3oz of breast milk)
Days 13-16: Bananas (2 Bananas + 3oz of breast milk)
Days 17-20: Organic Carrots (3 Carrots + 4oz breast milk)

Here's how I do it (Carrots):
Step 1:  Peel and cut carrots into 1/3
Step 2: Place it in the Baby Brezza, press "Steam & Blend" for 15 minutes, add in 4oz of breast milk, blend until milk is mixed in (can totally be done without a Baby Brezza...regular old blender or food processor works just fine)!
Step 3: Pour Puree into Sage Spoonful Glass jars, label, and put in the freezer. Voila!
*For serving, I usually take out what I need at night for the following day and by morning they are ready to go! To heat them before serving, I usually boil water and let the jar sit in the water until it's warmed.

Easy peasy lemon squeezy!

Drew has loved everything I've made so far and I'm not gonna lie...I have tasted every single one and can't complain! Delicious!

So much to be thankful for in 2014

I can't believe today is the first day of 2015! As Junie B. Jones has eloquently stated, "Wowie Wow Wow!" This year has flown by and has been our best year yet! It was the most incredible year filled with the most beautiful adventures.

I have been reminiscing on our most memorable moments and since Drew is actually napping (Drew is not much of a napper...but that's a whole other post!) I decided to blog about it!

 Here is a recap of 2014...

On January 2nd, after trying to get pregnant for 2 1/2 years, we finally got pregnant through IVF (full story here). We were beyond happy. We had prayed for this baby for so long and were finally going to be parents. We couldn't believe it. God is great!

Then on April 26th, God blew our minds again...Amina Sharay was brought into our lives (original post here). This sweet baby girl filled our home with so much love, joy, and endless laughter for 3 1/2 months. Although we were unable to adopt her and our sweet babe moved in with her aunt and 5 cousins, she is and always will be our baby girl. We were heartbroken to lose her but were once again shown God's love...Tamara (Amina's aunt) knew how much we loved Amina and allowed us to visit her once a week. It started off as just a few hours each visit then slowly increased to all day and eventually overnights. Over the past 4 months, we have formed a beautiful relationship with Amina's family. We pick her up once a week, she spends the night, and we take her home. Amina has two families that love her to the moon and back! That's pretty incredible. And we now have an even bigger family to love! Through Amina, Drew inherited 5 more cousins and another auntie too. Pretty lucky if you ask me!

 

On September 21st, after pushing for three very long hours, our little guy FINALLY decided to enter the world. Andrew Frank Vidovich III weighed in at 8lbs 5oz and 20in long. Our Drew was definitely worth the wait (original post here). He was absolutely perfect.

This year, I became what I was always meant to be...a momma. Here are a few things I've learned along the way...

1. I learned the true meaning of love at first sight. Before I had these babies I never knew I could love two little people so much that I'd give my my life for them.
2. I learned that I love my husband more now that I see him as a Daddy to our babies. He is pretty amazing with them.
3. I learned to be grateful and appreciative of every moment with my babies (fussy times and all) because let's face it, time is already going way too fast and they won't be this little for long.
4. I learned that being a momma is truly magical and even better than I ever imagined it would be.
5. I learned life will never be the same...it's soooo much better.

Thank you 2014 for the wondrous adventures...Can't wait to see what adventures 2015 has in store for us!

Wishing everyone love, laughter, peace, & a year as adventurous as ours has been. xo